Tom Wark
Fermentation: The Daily Wine Blog
Glen Ellen, CA 95442
Dear Massachusetts Voters:
I can't stress how pleased I am at the leadership, both moral and practical, that you have shown in your defeat yesterday of Question 1: "Should wine be sold in stores where food is also sold?"
Your opponents in this epic battle claimed they merely wanted the convenience of picking up a bottle of Pinot Noir to go with their peppered steak, all while under the same roof, all while shopping in one grocery store. You saw through that charade of an argument and pointed out that to allow Cabernet to be sold next to cabbage was in fact the work of the Devil who, as we know, is engaged in a campaign to get 18 year olds to drink wine.
Your puritan forefathers understood clearly that convenience is the handmaiden of evil. And, like you in yesterday's battle, they took on the witchcraft and won. In your historic vote yesterday you had wine and food-pairing heathens consumed by the proverbial bonfire of righteousness. Your community is once again safe from the evils of presenting chicken next to Chardonnay.
The battled against that boozemonger Satan is not over. Currently His minions within the California booze mongering alliance, are attacking the great state of Massachusetts. They want to open up your moralistic commonwealth to the insidious dangers of wine shipments. Hold strong. Embrace the your allies in the wholesale and distribution trade, those angels of moderation, who helped win this most recent election and who oppose the Devil's children in California who would have your good neighbors actually ordering wine, willy nilly, via the Internet. Hold Strong!!
Your work is not done, but your victory against the evil of pork and Pinot resting on neighboring shelves is secured.
Sincerely,
Tom Wark
