Fermentation: The Daily Wine Blog

Wet Paint & Wine

It's important for me to note that I endorse THIS in no way. THIS only minimizes the serious nature of wine and wine drinking. In fact, THIS purports to be humor, but in reality THIS is just another blow to the industry when the industry needs nothing like THIS.

Is THIS really what people want to read?

Only a few years ago THIS sort of thing would never fly. THIS would have been condemned. THIS really is harmful to a serious pasttime.

Again, I don't recommend you read THIS.

It's THIS I'm talking about.

Small Talk, Big Wines at World of Pinot Noir

At most large wine events such as World of Pinot Noir, organizers eventually get around to gathering all the guests in a large room for a "gala" dinner. It's sort of a group culinary hug. I like these kinds of dinners. But what I like most about them is the moment when I arrive at my assigned table and find out who will be my nine other dinner companions.

Unless one has forked out a large sum to buy up an entire table of ten, the lone guest or couple must expect to arrive at their assigned table with no idea with whom they will be talking small and mingling with for the next 3 hours.

This was the case at the very lovely and very well executed Friday Night Gala Dinner at World of PinotNoir where I strolled toward table #20, stag, wondering who would be my dining companions.

Now, I got lucky. That's for sure. The table-mates at #20 included a lovely, Pinot-loving couple from Arizona, The very pleasant and jovial Ben & Yolanda Papapeitro of Papapietro-Perry Winery, a young cork salesman who sat across the table from me and was rather quiet, a sterling couple that were newly minted Santa Rita vineyard owners and to my left the father and daughter team that manages the legendary Hirsch Vineyards and winery on Sonoma Coast.

Depending on your general level of social acumen and disposition toward other human beings, these make-shift tablings can be either terribly difficult or challenging and rewarding. I tend to find them the latter. The key to being a good table-mate at such gatherings is to possess a general interest in the unknown, a willingness to reveal yourself, to a degree, to strangers, and a proclivity to ask revealing questions that border on intrusive but don't quite cross the line of impropriety.

Because it's difficult to carry on a meaningful or at least pleasant conversation with folks at your table who are not immediately to your left or right, one tends to focus most on those in neighboring seats. I got the lovely Jasmine Hirsch, the energetic, wine loving, bon vivante who is charged with selling and marketing the line up of Hirsch Wines and to the the Arizona couple who seemed a little overwhelmed being the only consumers at a table of industry types. Though they held their own rather well by simply being gentle and interested and happy to be in the presence of so much Pinot Noir.

What it all amounts to, this airdrop into social unfamiliarity, is something akin a very slowed down version of speed dating. Over three hours you eventually work your way around the table, learning more about your table mates. Of course the food and wine, which at this particular event was spectacular, is the common denominator. When stuck for something to discuss there is always the spread in front of you and the next wine that was brought to the table.

The wines, for the most part, were big Pinots. A couple ethereal and, to my taste, very attractive Austrian Pinots made their way to our table and I made every attempt to get my new friends to appreciate them as I did. I was less successful at this than I was at at small talk. Ah well, more for me.

But with all that said, I think I have a nice set of guidelines for enjoying an evening when you are forced to dine with strangers.

1. First things first, always introduce yourself first things when you arrive at the table or when new table-mates arrive.
2. Learn the names of those to your left and right as quickly as possible, commit them to memory, and try to learn something about that soon that can lead to a conversation later if the conversation at the table wanes.

3. Listen, if you can, to conversations not aimed at you. Eventually that conversation will move around th table to you and it's nice to be prepared.

4. Try to do something nice for the rest of the table-mates early on, such as procure an extra bottle of wine that wouldn't otherwise be brought to the table (Ms. Hirsch was particularly adept at this as she brought us tastes of a beautiful 1985 Williams-Selyem Pinot out of magnum.

5. Try to make conversation with the person who appears most uncomfortable at your table. It's a nice thing to do and it will give others the chance to overhear your conversation and weigh-in, making the table dynamic much more convivial.

6. If you are terribly uncomfortable in such situations, then just don't go. Skip it. You'll be happier, less stressed and the table of new friends will also.

7. Learn the art of small talk.

The Road To Pinot

The road from Sonoma to the World of Pinot Noir doesn't deliver much for the wine loving driver intent on simply getting himself directly to the destination as quickly as possible. Without intent to investigate on foot, the vinious attractions seen from inside the car while driving 85 miles per hour south on Highway 101 just aren't inspiring.

World of Pinot Noir takes place in Pismo Beach, the first stretch of beachland one actually lays there eyes on when heading south from San Francisco. Between the City and Pismo, the car-bound wine lover only first gets a hint that he is in the country's great winemaking state when he sees Rapazzini Winery near Gilroy. The Rapazzini Winery sits in an old building next to the highway. It is most famous for Garlic Wine. No time to stop. No will either.

Only when one comes into the Salinas area do you get the sense you are in, or near, wine country. But you have to know it, rather than see it. The great Santa Lucia Highlands sit to the West and if you look real close you'll see America's newest Pinot Noir haven. But you have to look close and you have to look in the distance over row crops, migrant workers, dusty roads and shacks before you notice that bumping up against the western hills are rows of vines.

Again, for the driver it's not much of a sight.

Eventually you pull into King City where the vast central valley plonk vineyards extend on either side of the highway. This is where vines are cropped to 12+ tons of grapes per acre and are the source of many $4 bottles of wine that the country seems so intent on trading down to these days. Keep driving. These are not manicured vines and rows. They are work horses that are fueling a vast corporate wine empire.

Even the now well known Paso Robles area offers little or nothing for the Highway 101 traveler to gaze out on. Sure the rolling, oak-studded hills to the west are fine and a nice remove from the flatlands that you just drove though. But there is really very little sign of fine wine from the highway.

After that the trail goes even barer where wine lovers are concerned. You start to ascend over the foot hills until you land in San Luis Obisbo, home to Cal Poly—a university where I don't remember having one of the best times of my life at a party that I'm still told I enjoyed immensely. Happily, it's not age that blurs my memory of this place.

About seven miles south of San Luis Obisbo the vista opens up to a wide view of the Pacific Ocean. I'm there. Pismo Beach; World of Pinot Noir. It took about four and a half hours and 2/5 of a John Grisham potboiler on the iPod.

Imagine that. Almost 300 miles driven to get to what is by all past accounts an outstanding international wine event and nothing much more than a Garlic Wine Tasting Room, some distant Pinot vineyards you have to know are there, and rows of industrial vines for the wine-loving driver to enjoy.

Happily, the destination, the lovely Cliffs Hotel sitting on the beach, is full of comforts for the weary and the fact is, 4 hours and 300 miles later there is a weary bottom attached to this blogger. But this can be forgotten since ahead of me is a vast wealth of Pinot Noir learning to be had, great wines to sample and likely fantastic foods to try.

I just don't recommend the drive.

Straddling The Fence on Pinot Noir

Publicists are notorious Jacks-of-all-Trades. And I would say the same for myself. Though I think of myself primarily as a professional publicist working primarily in the wine industry, my work has taken me in a variety of directions.

Being a blogger has complicated this broadening of views even further.

On Thursday I'll be heading down to Pismo Beach to attend World of Pinot Noir, a festival in that town that focus entirely on Pinot Noir, the varietal's various incarnations, the foods to match with it, the producers that produce it. It's the kind of intensely focused wine fest that I've worked on as a publicist. This time I'll be covering it as a Blogger.

I was invited to attend. Besides getting there (a five hour drive from Sonoma) all my major expenses are paid for by the festival organizers. This is how writers that the festival organizers want covering the event are usually treated. I've done the same sort of treating myself on a number of occasions. Frankly, it's a little weird being on the other end of the invitation.

The rules and expectations that come with inviting writers and journalists to events are almost always the same:

1. The writer is hosted gratis
2. They are expected to participate in a number of the events scheduled.

That's it. While the organizers hope the writer will find a story to write about and subsequently inform their readers about the event and what they learned, there is no quid pro quo. At least I've never made one nor heard of such a thing being suggested. But the fact is, I will be writing about the World of Pinot Noir, about the people in attendance, about it's organization, about observations I have, about the process.

This will make the organizers happy. But it puts my crotch fitted squarely on the top of the fence. Writer/blogger or publicist?

This fence straddling things is not so uncommon. In fact, folks move between journalism and PR on a regular basis. It's a natural flow that should be easy to understand. But doing both at the same time is somewhat more rare.

It turns out however, that making a career as a publicist is far easier than making a career as a writer. You can be pretty good at what you do and make a career as a publicist. You can't just be "pretty good" as a writer and make a career at it. Writing, particularly freelance writing, is an ego-busting, ass-dragging, often disappointing, competitive, underpaid, pie-in-the-sky career choice. It's grueling. PR....not so much.

So as I straddle the fence this coming weekend and indulge in Pinot Noir and the foods it can accompany, I'll be keeping this all in mind and trying to explore the nature of the fence and the splinters that end up in my ass.

The Battle For Wine and How I Learned to Love Alice Feiring

Alice Feirng is an anti-establishmentarian that believes beauty is extracted from order. This puts her at odds with American wine and probably modernity too. And yet this strange and compelling perspective also gave her open entry directly into the hearts of the audience I watched her address yesterday.

Last night, in the grand, old tank room of Sonoma's venerable Sebastiani Vineyards, with lights dimmed and candles lit, Ms. Feiring held court in front of a crowd that was decidedly modern: a group of 100+ wine bloggers and wine industry participants interested in understanding this burgeoning genre of writing spawned of new technologies.

The message Ms.Feiring had for gathering was surely familiar to most of the older people in the crowd who came of age when Ms. Feiring did: Don't give in to the managers of crude compromise that seek to put everything in the employ of profit and mediocrity; stay true to blogging's roots and continue to stir the pot.

How could this gaggle of wine bloggers, who properly understand themselves as the wine industry's literary equivalent of the crowd with pitchforks and torches, not embrace this message? I know it appealed to me.

Feiring, who explained that she fell into blogging by happy accident, lamented much of the simple minded writing she is too often asked to produce where wine is concerned. "Wine Entertaining" articles for the Kmart and Target crowd had gotten to her. Blogging at her In Vino Veritas blog, though producing for her no immediate income, had given her a place to express her deepest concerns for the wine industry, a place to extol the virtues of authentic wines, and a place to explain what's right and wrong with wine in the 21st century.

For anyone who might wonder what Ms. Feiring believes is wrong with wine, and particularly California wine, one need only read her LA Times editorial from last May that succinctly summarized her book that would soon follow: "The Battle for Wine and Love -- Or How I Saved the World from Parkerization." She pulls no punches in her LA Times Article:

"When I first stopped drinking the Left Coast, it was because I was offended by the overuse of wood, boring flavors and lack of structure....when I evaluate them [California wines], I think not in terms of whether I like them but whether I can tolerate them."

But it's not just California wines that have offended Ms. Feiring: "But take heart, Golden State, you're not alone in making what I consider to be undrinkable wine. About 90% of the rest of mondo del vino has been similarly corrupted."

What Ms. Feiring believes will save the world of wine, California included, is a dedication to dirt; a commitment to authenticity by the makers of wine; winemaking that is "fiercely committed to working with, not against, nature."

Within Ms. Feiring's message to bloggers not to give into those that would turn blogging into just another place to publish more boring, dreck-filled "Wine Entertaining" articles that please advertisers and those with a disposition toward the color grey, is an implicit reiteration of her problem with 90% of today's wine: it is mainly "overblown, over-alcoholed, over-oaked, overpriced and over-manipulated." Her explanation for how this has happened, this corruption of nature, is somewhat complex but one of the primary culprits is the desire of winemakers around the world to conform to one man's palate. Robert Parker's seeming demand that good wine be big, fat, unnaturally ripe and extracted, over oaked and flabby has influenced winemakers, marketers and accountants to eschew the creation of wines that reflect the place where grapes are grown.

Alice Feiring is an incontestably beautiful woman. Small and slim in stature with a long graceful face and flowing red hair, there is a pixie queen quality to her. She sparkles too. This is not the sparkle of a bright, over sequined stunner that leaves a wake behind her as she glides across a crowded room. It strikes me as the sparkle you see in the eyes of carefree, curious, optimistic youth who still believe that beauty is God made, not man made.

For the short time she addressed her fellow bloggers, she demonstrated great command of the art of holding a room. This, I've learned, is not an easy thing to do when the room is filled with a collection of people who are defined in large part by a strong desire to express themselves—at all times. Nevertheless, Alice quietly addressed the crowd and explained that, amazingly, it was her first time ever giving a talk, as opposed to a reading.

Mostly she spoke of how she came to blogging, her experience being the "anti-Parker", her view of what blogging means and ending with a substantial nugget that I hope did not get past everyone in the room: she explained to those who put together the Wine Bloggers Conference that this was the first time wine writers had been organized. This was a two fold compliment. At once she acknowledged that a few people had actually managed to herd the cats into a room, while simultaneously giving bloggers entrance into the fraternity of Wine Writers. Wow. I hope no one in the room last night took this comment lightly.

And yet, for all of her beauty, grace, generosity and insight, Alice Feiring has problem. The kind of natural wines to which she so desperately wants to see winemakers dedicate themselves and drinkers embrace, are not really "natural" at all, but rather artifacts of inertia, government decree, and the forces of order.

The reason we know what Chambolle Musigny taste like in its natural, unmanipulated state is because we know what Pinot Noir tastes like and there are very specific rules for how "Chambolle Musigny" is to be produced—from vine to bottle. This government-ordered state of nature is a product of many things, not the least of which is powerful brand equity that has been built around a certain style of wine made in Burgundy over many years. Were these rules to change, diminish, or be discarded all together then the state of nature, the definition of "natural wine", would change.

We don't regulate what wine should taste like in America. At least not much. This is why in a place like Russian River Valley it is nearly impossible to say what we can expect from a wine that hails from Russian River Valley. It might take its taste from any number of different varieties of grapes. It might take its taste from any number of growing techniques or ripening philosophies. It might take its taste from any number of winemaking techniques. But what it won't take its taste from is government decree.

I think Alice wants drink wines that taste like Russian River Valley. I think she wants to drink wines that taste like Anderson Valley. I think too she wants to drink wines that taste like the dirt and climate of Eaglepoint Ranch vineyard. She's a Terroirista.

Ironically, her desire for natural wine and her bent toward railing against the establishment and her call for bloggers not to give in and to keep stirring the pot all express her inner anti-establishmentarianism, while her desired outcome for reform of winemaking and wine appreciation calls for well ordered rules that would tell us what is best gown where and under what conditions it is grown and how it ought to be produced.

It seems to me that Alice extracts beauty from order, not the low level form of chaos she otherwise promotes.

I may be overstating the contradiction of Alice Feiring. It may be that she could find happiness in wine were it just to be made from grapes that are not quite so ripe, not quite so steeped in oak, not quite so manipulated for the tastes of the majority; that wine be made a bit more often to the demands of her own palate and that it be made by men and women that have a bit more dirt under their nails sing a more spiritual tune. I don't know.

But here's what I do know. I'm in love with Alice Feiring. And I told her so last night. I told her that I loved her spirit, her measured contrarianism, her generosity and the inspiration that oozes out of her. I hope she gets her wine.

13 Things I learned at the Wine Bloggers Conference

13 Things I learned at the first day of the American Wine Bloggers Conference

1. Amy Atwood of Cleanskins & My Daily Wine blog is a fascinating lovely woman whose two websites don't completely scratch the surface of her potential or involvement in the wine industry. She's one of the folks from the Wine Blogger's Conference who I immediately liked and immediately knew was meant for much greater things. Nice handbag too.

2. Quivira Winery in Dry Creek Valley's one of the best defenders of biodynamicism I've ever come across. And this comes from a "Radical Secularist" where things biodynamic are concerned. Their winemaker in particular, Steve Canter, is a fascinating, articulate fella who I'm absolutely sure I'd like to spend some time talking with over a bottle of 16.4% alcohol Zinfandel and talking about the mystical properties of Biodynamically grown grapes.

3. Vino Chapeau, that little plastic disk one places over the top of their wine glass to capture the aroma before it fades, REALLY does work. I thought it a little silly when I first saw it. When I used it I was amazed.

4. Snooth, the wine locating and information aggregation website, continues to amaze me with the time-sucking, worthwhile, innovative all together cool and enormously useful services they provide not only to wine lovers but consumers also.

5. Gary Vaynerchuk's insights and motivational qualities are only eclipsed by his stamina.

6. The folks who run the Flamingo Hotel do a fantastic job of service their guests with one exception. They need to teach their bartends how to make a good, simple pastis.

7. Terroir is a concept nearly as mystical as Biodynamicism, but much more practical to the marketing of wine.

8. Kim Stare Wallace, the lovely and talented woman who runs Dry Creek Valley Vineyards and whose Fume Blanc recently won the coveted Sweepstakes White award at the Sonoma County Harvest Fair, and who maintains a terrific blog called Wilma's Wine World, is someone I regret not having gotten to know many years ago.

9. The Winegrowers of Dry Creek Valley are a wine association that does not do things in a half hearted way. They are innovative, active, well put together, filled with great representatives, and as an promotional organization, make a great case for driving right past Russian River, Dry Creek Valley, Sonoma Coast and heading west at Healdsburg.

10. The image of me at the top of this blog is not just too inaccurate, but deceptive. No less than 7 people at the Wine Bloggers Conference came up to me and said, "You look nothing like your picture." Only problem: Can't figure out if that's a good thing.

11. Randy Hall of Wine Biz Radio, besides being part of the glue that makes the Wine Blogging Community so cohesive, has the best, most authentic authentic laugh of anyone in the electronic wine world.

12. Melissa Dobson of the Family-Love-Wine blog, PR Professional, and contributor to Lenndevours, is someone any rational person looking for PR or communications help MUST consider hiring! Wark Communications surely will.

13. Cruvee, a new social networking site with great content, knows talent when they see it. They engaged Thomas Pellechia to help maintain their blog. Thomas is one of the most insightful and and experienced wine writers in America who brings remarkable perspective to his craft. This means two things: 1) Smart folks at Cruve—which bodes well for their site and 2) I get to read even more of Pellechia's work beyond his own VinoFictions.

Wine Bloggers Conference: Frequency of Posting and Vistors

The Wine Bloggers Conference is quickly approaching. At the conference Alder Yarrow and I will be conducting a seminar focused on Increasing Your Readership & Visitors. One of the fundamental points that I will be making at the seminar is that frequency of posting has an important impact on a blog's readership. Basically, the more frequently one posts, the better and higher the readership.

To illustrate this point, I looked at the frequency of posting for just two months of the top 10 and bottom ten ranked blogs at Ala Wine's Top 100 Wine Blog Rankings.

Guess what I found.

The top 10 ranked blogs post on average 14 times per month.
The bottom 10 ranked blogs post on average 8 times per month.

This is admittedly a crude way of looking at the issue. But the results are exactly what I expected to find. The fact is, the more posts one publishes, the more opportunity for links back to these posts and the higher likely hood that search engines will rank the blog higher in searches—two factors that lead to higher readers ship.

Whether frequency of posting is the most important factor in increasing the readership of one's blog is by no means determined. Many other issues play a key role. Yet, I'd venture to guess that if you posted 20 times per month for 5 months, you'd see a significant increase in your visitors and readership and RSS subscribers.

Big Mouth

Over the past two years I've given more talks to wine or wine-related audiences than the rest of my career combined. The reason is a function of the world of Blogs having caught the attention of the wine industry and working with Specialty Wine Retailers Association. Outside of making a new client pitch or pitching a story to an editor or writer, it's probably the most exhilarating thing I do.

Although I've arranged for clients to take formal training in public speaking and although in college I study the "History and Historic Forms" of speech giving, I myself have never had any training. And honestly, I think it shows.

The biggest obstacle I've had to overcome in doing this is the same that most folks have had to work at: stage fright. When present in only a small degree, stage fright can actually focus the speaker. When present  in abundance, it can debilitate the speaker. I used to have debilitating stage fright when I first entered junior college after High School. I was simply unable to speak in front of the class or from my seat. It was so bad, I choose classes and situations that were less likely to force me to speak up. But that never worked out too well.

In the end, one strategy worked for me in college. Every night, prior to every class the next day, I studied hard not just to learn the material, but to be completely prepared for any question I thought was likely to come my way. Those were very long nights, but it gives you an indication of how bad my fear of public speaking actually was.

I carried this tactic with me to Humboldt State University then to San Francisco State University, where I eventually was able to address larger audiences with preparation, but not quite as much preparation as before and I no longer sweated through my cloths.

I have two very interesting public speaking engagements coming up here very soon that I'm very excited about.

Tomorrow I address the 2008 Crushpad Marketing and Selling Seminar. I'm going to discuss with Crushpad clients how blogs can be used in marketing.

Monday I address the Wine Industry Financial Symposium on behalf of Specialty Wine Retailers Association. I'll be sitting on a panel with wine industry lawyer Corbin Houchins and Jeff Carroll of ShipCompliant that addresses the state of direct shipping compliance.

These two events address two very different audiences and will cover entirely different subjects.

Later this year I'll have the pleasure of speaking before the Wine Bloggers Conference and at the University of California Wine Industry Extension Program at Davis.

All four of these audiences will be exactly the kind you want to speak in front of. Folks will be there because they want to be and because they have  a desire to learn something. That is a somewhat different situation from speaking or testifying in front of a committee of legislators, who, in many cases it seems, simply don't want to be where they are. 

Nothing focuses the mind quite like thinking about how you are going to keep the attention of a good sized audience without wetting your pants. I'm hoping my pants will stay dry for the rest of the year.

The Stakes are High

A significant responsibility was laid upon my shoulders not too long ago: I've been charged with creating an itinerary for a Day in Napa Valley for a very old and very dear friend and her equally dear and loved husband who will again be coming up to see us for a spell.

They are BIG wine lovers. We get together regularly and when they have come up from LA to visit, I've taken them on tours of Carneros, Russian River Valley, Sonoma Valley, Dry Creek, Anderson Valley, but  never Napa. This time, they requested Napa.

With approximately 2 Gazillion wineries in Napa Valley, it's very hard to determine where to take these folks. So, I started thinking, why not break the Valley down into themed tours, then let them choose the theme I cover for them? It's not unlike the Walking Tours one can choose from in, say, New Orleans when one can take a "Vampire Walking Tour", a "Famous Bars Walking Tour", a "Graveyard Walking Tour", "A Garden District Walking Tour", etc.

ANY SUGGESTION OF THEMED NAPA VALLEY WINERY TOURS WOULD BE APPRECIATED BY READERS.

For now, here are the choices of themed tours I've come up with:

1. THE ART TOUR
Clos Pegase Winery
Hess Collection
Mumm Napa Valley

2. THE ARCHITECTURE TOUR
Darioush
Clos Pegase
Artesa
Dominus

3. NAPA VALLEY CLASSICS
Mondavi
Beringer
Heitz
Chateau Montelena

4. THE FOUR MOUNTAIN TOUR
Atlas Peak Winery
Howell Mountain Winery
Spring Mountain Winery
Hess Collection

5. CHARDONNAY MASTERS
Far Niente
Newton
Grgich Hills
Stony Hill Vineyard

Being asked to develop the tour for a trip to Napa is a little like being assigned to pick the wine when you are out with people who know you are in the wine industry. There is an expectation that your selection will somehow be infused with expertise.

The stakes are high. You don't want let on that not everyone that works in the wine business isn't an expert on this sort of thing.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Napa Valley Vintners
"The question is not why the chicken crossed the road, but how much we can charge for a taste of that chicken."

Constellation CEO
"We are very confident that upon finally crossing the road, the chicken will fit in perfectly to our growing 'Across The Road' portfolio of chickens."

The Wine Spectator
Non Vintage Chicken—The Road
"This is a superb effort by the chicken that we haven't seen in a number of crossings. A lovely blend of supple movement and a robust gate propelled chicken across the street and to a finishing hop upon a smooth, well delineated sidewalk." 94 Points

Randy Dunn
"The chicken has gone completely overboard. This isn't a real crossing. It's a simple, fat dash that is one dimensional. It's time for the chickens to get back to making elegant, balanced crossings."

Gary Vaynerchuk
"Because we're changing the chicken world!!! One Crissy Cross at a time!!"

Wine Distributor
"The Chicken just wants to tear down the system. If the Chicken gets his way and continues to cross the street we'll see more chicks just get run over. I don't think that's what American Chickens want."

Robert Parker, Jr.
"I can't say why the chicken crossed the road. I've not been to a chicken crossing in that region since I was asked not to come there anymore by a number of chickens that didn't appreciate my appraisals of their crossings. However, I will be adding a new chicken crossings reviewer to the staff of the Chicken Advocate because our readers deserve thorough and expert coverage of crossings on that region."

The Publicist
"We wanted to create the greatest crossing ever! Our chicken is dedicated to hands-on crossings that highlight the terroir of the road. This is by far the finest crossing the chicken has ever offered."

The Wine Blogger
I don't care why the chicken crossed the road. I just blog about it for my own pleasure and to try to make chicken crossings more accessible to the average chicken. Before bloggers appeared on the scene the mainstream press ignored the average chicken crossing and focused only on Roosters. Bloggers are taking back Chicken Crossings and putting them in the hands of the chickens again!"

Jonathan Nossiter, Director of Mondovino
It's the same old crossing—bland, simple, undistinctive. This chicken doesn't care about the character of the crossing. It merely wants to get to the other side and it's the kind of crossing that destroy the distinctive regional character that has defined chicken crossings for centuries.

UPDATE:

Inertia Beverage Group
"We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road, we just want to help that chicken cross it faster, more efficiently, and more profitably.”

Jeff Stai, Twisted Oak
Because that's where the rubber (chicken) meets the road.